


it's time you know the feeling

by atitforatat



Series: the romance series [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Kozume Kenma is So Done, Kozume Kenma is Whipped, Kozume Kenma is a Little Shit, M/M, POV Kozume Kenma, Pining, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atitforatat/pseuds/atitforatat
Summary: Kenma is in love. He completely hates it.Kuro isn’t in love. Kenma hates it even more.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: the romance series [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673896
Kudos: 45





	it's time you know the feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [Cry For Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogalmk6K0zs&list=PLLVNgL2enYZvxbiaKABqzt_H_K1V-rDgb&index=12&t=0s)  
> Not counting the chaptered ones (that i promise i'll finish), there's only another fic to finally complete this series, I can't even believe it
> 
> Anyway, I tried so hard to make it funny but it's just pining mess Kenma being a little shit...  
> Sorry for any mistakes and please enjoy :)

Kozume always understood himself too well. For example, he understood perfectly why he got less grumpy around Shouyou. Or why he got immediately grumpier when Lev got any closer. He knew what his body, mind, and feelings were trying to say every time something happened in his emotional state.

He never hated this ability so much.

Because having it meant his conclusions were right. Why he felt lighter just from hearing a voice. How the sun looked brighter just because a face was waiting for him before going to school. The way he secretly loved that someone built a team that revolved around him.

The way it all led to the same truth; that he was deeply in love for his childhood best friend and he feared nothing in the world could make him stop feeling it.

Kozume knew he was in love just for a day before deciding he hated it a whole lot.

**X**

When he first befriended Shouyou, he never paid much attention to his club colleagues outside of their volleyball abilities. He knew that most of them were loud, that some of them were moody, and that their blonde middle blocker was spending too much time with someone during that ridiculous training camp.

He also knew Kageyama and Hinata were destined to kiss someday, and that’s because he was just as good at understanding other people as he was in understanding himself.

He never hated this other ability so much.

Because having it so well developed meant that things, that he wasn’t ready, nor did he want, to acknowledge just yet, were probably the truth. Like the fact that someone was spending more time with the blonde middle blocker than with him. Or how someone wasn’t really paying the attention he knew he deserved because was lost thinking about the blondie’s problems with fucking volleyball. Or, generally speaking, how someone wasn’t desperately in love like he was.

Basically, how Kuro wasn’t in love with his childhood best friend.

Kenma knew he was in love just for one week before deciding he hated Kuro not being in love even more than he hated everything else.

**X**

The training camp lasted a week and, with its end, Kenma’s “fallen in love” state made its two weeks anniversary. As a gift, Kozume choose to be angry at Kuro, because, clearly, everything was his fault.

But spending almost two days in silence with one’s best friend and love wasn’t easy as he predicted. His heart kept hurting and his mind kept stealing glances when the other wasn’t looking. Kozume knew if he kept it, he wouldn’t get any sleep forever. And his sleep schedule was bad as it was already.

But, when he tried to make amends when they were going to school some other day, and Kuro looked good as ever, satisfied expression and all, the only feeling Kozume felt was _rage_.

He was utterly outraged. How dare Kuro not look miserable after spending almost two days not talking to the one he was supposed to love?

How dare he not have dark circles under his eyes because he spent two nights lying wild wake thinking what went wrong?

How dare he not cry for Kozume?

Kenma wanted to punch his calm morning smile out of his face. That stupid bed-headed idiot couldn’t be so blind to what was happening, could he?

Kozume, for the first time in all the years he knew Tetsurou, felt like beating him to a pulp, even though he was pretty sure if Tetsurou decided he wasn’t getting beaten, Kozume would end up crushed between hard-as-rock arms (which wouldn’t be such a sad thing to happen, considering everything…). He hated Kuro for not being lost as he was.

And the idiot was silent during the whole path to school, probably waiting for Kenma to start a conversation so they could go back to normal.

Kozume had a surprise for him: normal was fucking _dead_ for them.

**X**

For the next days, Kozume waited.

He left small clues all over his words and actions about what he expected from Kuro. He expected a yes or no. A “let’s marry in the sunset” or a “you’re like a brother to me”.

He actually didn’t want the “no” or the brother thing, but if it gave him some sort of certainty, he was fine with it. Mostly.

Honestly, after all that he went through these last weeks, if he didn’t get a very “kneeling and saying ‘I’d die for you’” thing he would be pissed. It would also be unfair. And he was known for fighting against unfairness since it happened to him.

So, in fact, he expected a “yes”. But, by the pace things were going, if he ever got even a “hm”, it would be a lot. For all his book-and-papers intelligence, Tetsurou proved, over the course of a week, that he was the densest human being to ever walk Earth.

That or he was pretending to be blind and deaf so he could postpone breaking Kozume’s heart.

Kenma prayed a lot for that not to be this case. It would hurt a lot, he knew.

He would also cry a lot for someone he was expecting to cry for _him_.

Again, he hated knowing himself so well. Even how he was going to deal with rejection was already predictable.

But rejection seemed better than the complete silence from Kuro about it.

He would walk Kozume to school, he would make sure Kozume ate, then he would walk Kozume back home.

It came to a point where even their friends knew what Kenma was doing and they kept giving him sad and pity looks. He didn’t need pity. He needed to be in love with someone smarter.

It was consuming him already. He didn’t cry, but he thought about it and he dreamed about it. He was considering making he and Tetsurou marry on The Sims 4, recording it and sending it to his neighbors’ house.

Kozume never felt that desperate about something, but love was getting to him. He saw the constant text exchange between Kuro and Tsukishima (whose name he finally learned), and it scared the death of him. To lose Kuro for a taller version of himself would be the death of him.

He would die of despair, he just knew.

**X**

It was nearing nationals’ time, and nothing had changed, when Kozume decided a more direct approach.

Talking about love, making Kuro stay the night over and over, asking him about marriage, possible kid’s names and even staying later just to train new attacks with him weren’t working. Kuro was dense or just wasn’t interested, but it was damn time for him to know the feeling Kozume felt.

He refused, simply refused, to be the only one in such deep shit.

If he was going down, he would bring Kuro along. Satan could make room for both of them.

So, he came to his last strategy, the last resource, the one he didn’t want to come to, the thing he most feared, the love confession.

**X**

Kozume waited a few more weeks before letting out everything he piled up. He also didn’t let any steam off. He wanted to explode so all his pieces would hit directly on Kuro’s heart.

That man would cry and suffer, and pine, and whatever the hell he wanted, for Kozume. Or else, the crying, suffering, and pining one would be Kozume.

He really expected Kuro cried. For his own wellbeing.

But, as nothing can be forever postponed, the exploding day came.

**X**

Kozume didn’t know if it was the things going inside him or if something out there just made it like that, but Tetsurou never looked so handsome. Maybe it was the sea, maybe the general beach happiness. He didn’t care really.

He was happy he chose to say it all on their annual beach trip. He didn’t like the beach that much before, but Kuro made him like it. He even was shirtless this time. Kuro gleamed when he saw he got into the sea without being pulled. He loved that carefree expression so much. He would dream of it for some days, he just knew it.

It was really time for Kuro to know the feeling.

At night, when Kozume’s parents went to some luau, Kenma prepared himself. His parents left some money so they could get a pizza or something even if with Kuro insisting that he was feeling like cooking something.

Kenma said goodbye to them without his full attention on it. Being alone with Kuro right now was perfect, but he felt a bit scared about it. A very big bit anxious about it.

“Kuro.”

Tetsurou was seated at the couch, giving all his attention to some stupid quiz show on tv. All the sweetness he was feeling kind of died. Kozume was feeling pure rage again. He looked at Kenma with that satisfied expression again. Kenma wanted to punch him.

How dare Tetsurou not be affected by this whole weekend? They spent most of the time together, sleeping on the same bed as they did since always. How dare he not panic thinking that the person he wanted was sleeping right _there_?

It was so fucking on time for him to learn the feeling.

“Yes, Kenma?”

“Would you ever get over me for somebody else?”

Kuro stayed silent, probably trying to think about whatever Kozume meant. He usually just said “Kenma what’ya mean” and pester him until Kozume explained.

 _Actually_ , he usually just understood right away.

Kozume’s hands were starting to sweat just from considering they lost their mutual understanding.

It would be the end of something unfixable.

The plans to confess, and scream, about things until he made everything work like he wanted it to go, started to crumble. Fear, real fear, of losing Kuro passed through his mind.

Maybe crying, suffering, pining, and staying awake thinking about Kuro hurt less than not having him at all.

“Ah, Kenma. It’s not like there is somebody else, you know. We should wait until somebody appears, then you ask again.”

“Well, what if I don’t wanna wait, Kuro?”

He said it to sound grumpy, he was angry again. He was scared, but the pure rage was driving him. It was too unfair being the only one lying awake at night. They could be awake together.

“Kenma, I’m a bit lost right now.”

Kozume wanted to strangle him.

“I love you, big stupid dork!”

Kuro looked lost. Shocked. Kozume’s heart started to break already.

Then Tetsurou smiled. His cheeky smile of the cat who got the canary.

He did get the canary.

“But why are you angry?”

“Because I refuse to suffer this alone, you big dense roaster.”

Kuro was still smiling, finally capturing the whole meaning of what Kozume said, but it didn’t matter anymore. His smile said everything Kozume wanted to hear.

Or so he thought.

“Yes, after all these lovely confessions, I will share the pain with you.”

“Good, now kiss me, and if you ever move on, I’ll haunt your dreams.”

Kozume could now say he didn’t hate being in love so much anymore. And he could also say that it had everything to do with the fact that Kuro was in love too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
